1. |
angel on ur shoulder
03:45
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i'm tryna figure out the things i have
that can still hold me together
i'm getting used to falling down
just like i've been doing forever
and i'm crying, i'm laughing,
i'm teaching myself how to fly
and i'm lonely, i'm boring,
i'm holding my head up high
does it look as if i'm doing fine
and i'm smiling like that angel on ur shoulder?
if it looks as if i'm gonna cry
i can tell you i feel like i'm getting older
and i'm crying, i'm laughing,
i'm teaching myself how to fly
and i'm lonely, i'm boring,
i'm holding my head up high
and these threads don't think i'm alive
i feel like i'm tearing apart
these threads don't think i'm alive
i'm holding my beating heart
and i'm crying, i'm laughing,
i'm teaching myself how to fly
and i'm lonely, i'm boring,
i'm holding my head up high
and i'm smiling like that angel on ur shoulder
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2. |
a night light's on
03:24
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a night light's on in the bathroom
and i'm staring at the glow from under the door
i've got your coat under my head
and i think i see your shadow on the floor
but it's too dark for that now
it's too dark for that now
my eyes are wide open
but it's too dark for that now
he's up in the night pacing
and he thinks i'm dead asleep
i'm counting the minutes down
'til he finally goes to sleep
but it's too light for that now
it's too light for that now
my eyes are closed tightly
but it's too light for that now
in the car, i think i hear you
talking in the backseat
and i think 'i forgive you'
as we drive off through another city
but it's too late for that now
it's too late for that now
my eyes are stinging
and it's too late for that now
i've got a glimmer of hope
that i thought had burnt out
and a hand reaching out through
all my shadows of doubt
but i'm too scared for that now
i'm too scared for that now
my eyes are glazing over
but i'm too scared for that now
a night light's on...
but i'm too old for that now
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3. |
on the radio
04:01
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i've got a gun and i'm not afraid to use it
i've got a gun to get to where the truth is
i'm on the run and i'm never looking back
going far, i've got my old chevy car, and enough cash
and i'm hunting my demons, running from my ghosts
i've locked up in box the people i miss the most
all in the back of my mind, far from the light of day
and on the radio they're saying "another man's fallen from grace"
got a knife, i'll stick it where the sun don't shine
i've got a knife to cut away all the bad times
going far and i'm never looking back
on the run, stock up on ammunition, put my foot to the gas
and i'm hunting my demons, running from my ghosts
i've locked up in a box the feelings i don't wanna show
all in the back of my mind, far from my weary face
and on the radio they're saying "another man's fallen from grace"
picking angel feathers out of my hair
they feel like ink or blood
there's a stench clean in the air
like ink or blood
like ink or blood (etc...)
and i'm hunting my demons, running from my ghosts
i've locked up in a box all my worries and woes
all in the back of my mind, far enough so i won't say
that i'm the one who's fallen from grace
that i'm the one who's fallen from grace
(like ink or blood, like ink or blood...)
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4. |
alive
03:58
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i can't figure it out, why am i afraid of myself?
is it because of what i've got hidden up there on the shelf
i think there's something inside of me and it's trying to get out
a bloody potential gonna rise out of my mouth
and i'm scared and i'm cold, but i'm alive
i'm tired and i'm angry, but i'm alive
there's a hissing behind my teeth as i undo your buttons
need to touch the skin beneath, dive into your ocean
i could drown in here, so happily you could hold me under
i would let you push me down, i could finally surrender
and i'm scared and i'm cold, but i'm alive
i'm tired and i'm angry, but i'm alive
i'm striving for freedom and i'm dying of boredom
i'm kicking and screaming but alive
i'm alive
i never asked for anything
if i did it's just for my secrets to stay that way
between us, whispering
i guess this is nothing
i'm just a placeholder til you find someone better
don't say you love me. it means nothing.
go on and run away
you could love me enough til you got scared
pretend long enough that you cared
well, i don't care
Cos i'm alive
i'm not stupid, i know i deserve it
but there's still that part of me that feels betrayed
the little part of me that thought you'd stay
crying into a china cup, crying over bloody feathers all ripped up
lying about my day, i'm doing fine
lying and laughing and losing time
is this what it means to be alive?
i survived, i don't know why
but i... i'm alive
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5. |
charcoal
04:10
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i need to stand still, i need my hands still
i need my thoughts silent
i need my mind quiet, i need to find some stillness but i
don't think i deserve it though...
my hands are black with charcoal
my soul is cracked down the middle
my dreams aren't dreams, their nightmares and lies about things i could've done better
i wish i'd done better
i need to stop running
i need to give myself a warning
don't go before you lose
i think too much and i need too much
i try too much but not hard enough
take me out before i do it myself
chorus
but what could i have done
turned my heart ice cold all over again
just to feel it splinter and break and then
know my greatest sin was love
let me wash my hands of this love
chorus
what more could i have done
but maybe there's a place for me in the sun
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6. |
the barn
03:42
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a waxing gibbous moon on a pink horizon
the wheel turning soon as the night comes
grey little wings, little bird, little lovely
gold yellow strings pull down the sun
and i will not be weak anymore
i will learn to be brave
i will no longer fight your war
and i will no longer behave
for you the way you think i ought to be
the way the world tells me
left in lethargy in this dusty old barn
wings in synergy lifting me with the turn
am i dreaming when i rise, the heat gets thicker
but i've felt fire and ice and they both burn
they both burn
i will not say yes anymore
i will learn to stand my ground
i will always know the score
i will not let you push me down
into nothing but who i ought to be
something the world tells me
i will fly
i will take what's mine
i won't be who you think i ought to be
i will only ever be me
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Winter Rowan Toronto, Ontario
winter rowan just wants to write goth songs on the ukulele.
Winter Rowan recommends:
for complicated, layered, powerful women.
go to album
country but make it gay.
go to album
Bury Me At Makeout Creek
by Mitski
vibes.
go to albumIf you like Winter Rowan, you may also like:
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Meet Me at the River
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On “Meet Me By the River,” Dawn Landes’s self-described “Nashville record,” buoyant country melodies settle deep into lush instrumentation.
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Forever Only Idaho
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Big, strummy songs that recall the heart-on-sleeve earnestness and lo-fi glory of early Mountain Goats.
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