i can't figure it out, why am i afraid of myself?
is it because of what i've got hidden up there on the shelf
i think there's something inside of me and it's trying to get out
a bloody potential gonna rise out of my mouth

and i'm scared and i'm cold, but i'm alive
i'm tired and i'm angry, but i'm alive

there's a hissing behind my teeth as i undo your buttons
need to touch the skin beneath, dive into your ocean
i could drown in here, so happily you could hold me under
i would let you push me down, i could finally surrender

and i'm scared and i'm cold, but i'm alive
i'm tired and i'm angry, but i'm alive
i'm striving for freedom and i'm dying of boredom
i'm kicking and screaming but alive
i'm alive

i never asked for anything
if i did it's just for my secrets to stay that way
between us, whispering

i guess this is nothing
i'm just a placeholder til you find someone better
don't say you love me. it means nothing.

go on and run away
you could love me enough til you got scared
pretend long enough that you cared
well, i don't care
Cos i'm alive

i'm not stupid, i know i deserve it
but there's still that part of me that feels betrayed
the little part of me that thought you'd stay

crying into a china cup, crying over bloody feathers all ripped up
lying about my day, i'm doing fine
lying and laughing and losing time

is this what it means to be alive?
i survived, i don't know why
but i... i'm alive